k0an.com

Jon:

Samantha:

Jace:


Make your own here. I took a screenshot of it to save it.

There might actually be a funny movie coming out soon!

If "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" does well Steve Carell could replace Will Ferrell as the current king of comedy.

It's the first trailer I've really laughed at in a while.

I found a template that works in IE and Firefox and just works better all around.

I feel sorry for Asha because she's going to be abandoned in her dog house for the weekend. She let me know how she felt by puking on the carpet.

One of my favorite things to do while bored is check out satellite imagery on Google Maps. It's a great way to explore the US or reminisce about place you've visited. There is a site called Google Sightseeing where people discuss interesting satellite images they've found on Google's site.

This post from today is the most interesting I've seen on the site so far. People aren't sure if it's ice or a software error or what. I like the theory that it's a submerged alien civilization.

On June 1st someone tricked a company in Los Angeles into letting him drive off with a delivery of 12,000 iPods. I was amazed by the thief's guts at the time but didn't think anything else of it.

This morning my friend Jeff showed me a link he found on Ebay while shopping for an iPod for his wife. Someone is trying to unload 1,000 iPods. The previous things sold by that seller are designer shirts, jeans, and golf clubs. Typical items for the common thief to sell. Also, none of the previous auctions is for anything even close to the value of 1,000 iPods. So, either someone hijacked the guy's account or the guy has a fence opportunity of a lifetime.

Even thought it's a long shot I decided it would be cool to call the LAPD (plus I use VOIP so it's free). I called the hot line and spoke to one of the detectives. He seemed interested and asked me to show him how to use Ebay to find the item. Once I helped him find it he said "thank you for your help" and then the call was over.

The only other time I've helped the law out was when I stopped a lady from beating up the old lady who ran the Flying J gas station in Livermore. Nobody thanked me then so my track record isn't good. Stay tuned to see how this concludes!

I've been seeing more and more Priuses driving around and I think it's
weird that they are so successful. I put together a comparison of the
Prius with the Matrix (base model) which is Toyota's closest
competitor in size.

Matrix: 200,000 miles / 36 mpg x $2.40 for a gallon of gas = $13,333
Prius : 200,000 miles / 51 mpg x $2.40 for a gallon of gas = $9,411

Prius Gas cost savings: $3,922

Real world price of a Matrix Base model: $14,439
Real world price of a Prius: $21,515

Prius Cost premium: $7,076

The cars have the exact same passenger volume and the Matrix has much
more cargo volume.

Plus, 200,000 miles means that you've exceeded the 150,000 mile
battery warranty so you are due for several thousands of dollars to
replace that.

I definitely think that hybrid technology has potential but it doesn't make economic sense to be an early adopter.

UPDATE: A journalist recently came to the same conclusion.

Labor and then Jace

On Friday night, April 30, 2004, Jon and I planned to go to Scippolini’s Pizza and have the Prego Pizza with his parents and Alena, his sis. It was urban legend that the Prego Pizza would send any woman into labor right away. I was sick of being pregnant. We had been talking about Scippolini’s blissfully for weeks. I had gained fifty seven pounds, when you are actually only supposed to gain about thirty five. I was huge and could barely move. My ankles and feet were so swollen I dreaded walking across campus. I worked that Friday and my students gave me tons of presents for Jace, gave me hugs, asked me a million questions, and told me that they would miss me.
We ate at the pizza place out on the patio, which was filled with kids hanging all over their mothers, the tables, and running in and out of the surrounding areas outside. It was a little cool outside that night, but I was always hot, so it felt good. Alena, as usual, didn’t bring a sweater, so was cold. I was practically sweating due to hormones and excessive weight gain. Jon ordered a pitcher of beer for everyone, except for me, of course. It seemed like people kept repeating that I did not need a beer glass in panicked voices, as if I would suddenly forget I was pregnant and start drinking alcohol without abandon after nine alcohol free months. The Prego Pizza was covered with sausage, pepperoni, onions, garlic, red pepper, regular pepper, bell peppers, and everything else imaginable. It gave me severe gas, but that seemed to be it.
The next morning we went to the park to play with Asha. We had a great day just hanging out together. We thought we might go to a festival in a nearby town, but decided against it. We went to Trader Joe’s and Claimjumpers in Concord. We ate enormous amounts of good food. After just the salads, we were already full. That night we started to watch Blue Crush on TV. I cut up some smoked apple swiss cheese, and smoked cheddar to eat with my favorite rosemary flavored Wisecrackers. After five minutes of the movie, I felt something. I ran to the bathroom and my water broke all over the floor. Now, maybe it was the Scippolini’s, maybe it was the enormous lunch, maybe it was the excessive weight gain, who knows? I had been ready….until then! I was eight days early. I was not expecting it, right then!
We called the hospital and they told us to come right in since my water had broken. We already had our stuff packed. I called our immediate families on the way over in the car.
Labor took forever. I had read that you should bring cards and other things to keep your mind off of it. I can’t imagine who could play cards or do anything while in labor! I had Uno in my suitcase and let me tell you, it never left the package. My family and Jon’s family came right away. My sister distracted me by showing me pictures of babies in a magazine and telling me to pick the cutest ones, etc. Everyone else was kinda stressing me out. Some people were arguing; people were talking about history; people were complaining about mundane things and I just kept thinking, oh poor you! After this, I decided that I only wanted Jon there in the delivery room.
Jon turned on VH1 for me and for some reason, Lindsay Lohan was in practically every show! There was the Diary of Lindsay Lohan, she was hosting something, I don’t know, but after eighteen hours, I started noticing she was in everything. For months afterward, I thought I might hate her through association, very Pavlovian.
After many, many hours of waiting to push, I was already tired. They gave me Stayonal. That was the only good period of time. I laughed at a few things. They finally gave me an epidural at six centimeters. Hours passed. They induced me. The labor nurse’s name was Edna. She was a short, Hispanic woman who was very patient and calm. She kept telling me that it was almost time, but then it wouldn’t happen. Finally, it was time to push.
I pushed as hard as I could, but it was hard and I had back labor, which felt kind of like someone crushing your spine with a brick. Jon was calm and kept me focused. In fact, the only time he freaked out was when they put the needle in my back for the epidural. He said he felt like he was going to black out. He told me exactly what to do. He’d say, “Push now. Keep going. Breathe. Push again before the contraction is over.” He gave me ice chips and held my hand.
After many hours of pushing and Edna telling me she thought she might have seen the very top of the baby’s head and Jon agreeing in a non-convincing tone, I couldn’t take it any more. I tried every position. I forgot all about breathing and starting swearing and screaming. I told them I didn’t want to do it anymore! I was thrashing around because of the back labor and one of the times I tried to change positions, I grabbed Jon’s crotch and squeezed it, like I’d been squeezing his hand earlier. He didn’t even say anything, but told me later it was extremely painful. I told him to find the anesthesiologist and make her give me more drugs NOW! She had told me she didn’t want to give me any more and I wanted to kill her. After she witnessed me screaming for awhile, she gave them to me.
Finally, after eighteen hours of labor, I told them I wanted a C-section. I told them to please, please let me stop doing it. Dr. Stewert came in. My normal doctor, Dr. Yee, was in San Francisco visiting her mom, a week early for mother’s day. Dr. Stewert was very calm. I screamed, cried and then calmly told her I didn’t want to do it any more. After talking to me, accessing how crazy I was, and learning that Jace was predicted to be a pretty large baby, she said that a C-section, might in fact happen. She told me that before we got to that point, she was going to use forceps and that I was going to have to push my hardest.
Jace was finally born after about twenty more minutes of pushing. As soon as we saw him, both Jon and I cried. He didn’t cry at first and I was scared, because I had read about Apgar and knew that was important. When they took Jace over to weigh him and wipe him off, he finally cried. I felt so relieved. They told us that the cord was wrapped around his neck three times and that his blood pressure had dropped. I’m glad they didn’t tell me or I might have been too afraid to push hard enough.
His head was bruised from the forceps and was misshapen from the birth canal, but I swear, he was the most beautiful person I had ever seen. I had read about how some parents expected to feel an immediate love for their baby and then felt more like they were being introduced to a stranger. That wasn’t me. As soon as I looked at his little face, as soon as I held him, and he opened his eyes, pushed his neck way up, and stuck his tongue in and out, already rooting for milk, I loved him. I loved him more than I could ever explain—his little chin and lips, the way Jon looked at him, it was all the way it should be.
Both of our families came in a few at a time, very quietly. I knew I looked like hell, but I didn’t even care. I was so happy it was over. I felt like people were staring at me. I thought maybe they had heard the extent of the swearwords I kept repeating over and over. Eventually, both families were there in the room--Jon’s immediate family and almost all of my extended family. They gave me a gardenia and a plant.
A little later, after everyone had left, the hospital brought me food, but it looked like the most disgusting thing I’d ever seen. I can still see the greasy, glossy chicken leg and the over steamed veggies staring out from under the metal cover. Later that night, Jon went to get me Jack in the Box curly fries and a strawberry banana milkshake. (I’d been craving banana milkshakes my whole pregnancy.) The shake machine was broken, so he brought me about a gallon of orange soda, which I didn’t even really drink. We watched our favorite shows, Viva La Bam and WildBoyz on TV in the same bed. My nurse that night laughed at how were both in the tiny bed together. She was really sweet and taught me how to nurse Jace. She was my favorite nurse out of all of them.
People keep telling me I can guilt Jace about the eighteen hours of labor when he’s in high school, but I don’t think I will. After all, I’m sure the experience wasn’t too fun for him either. He was in there fairly peacefully and then got ripped out with huge metal tongs. I’m sure most of his days of sleeping, kicking and eating were much better than that day. Thank god, he had all those Claimjumpers mashed potatoes to keep him going.

For Jace, my son, and my English 11 students

young mother verses
young enough to remember what it was
like to be young mother,
years apart
tears apart
(30 makes me meet them, amidst a struggle,
though only briefly)

I see a glimpse of my son
in the faces of my students,
sometimes shudder,
sometimes smile

I can never know what he will be
until someday for myself I will see.

I am in the yard
on the covered patio.
It is raining.
My son is pulling close to me
because of the light chill
like he already rarely does anymore,
wanting to be free exploring
crawling, walking, then running

away from me

I imagine how far away from their mothers
my students are
and wonder
how this bond could be desecrated
how the distant line could be crossed
into drugs, fighting, disrespecting, demeaning,
the destruction of love,
lying, dying,
flying head first into their own loud screaming,
fists up.
Is this what it is to be a man?
a woman even?
(Not even a novel could tell this
English teacher,
where the true loss of innocence occurs.)

Still.
This is real.
This is something I could have never known
until now.
Being what you were meant to be
is all I ever want to see
from you


my son
my students

I see my son’s smile up toward me like I am everything
fade into the apathy on the faces of many.

Yet, I see a few hold him
sweetly, carefully, gently,
or say something unique
or world defying,
or funny,
or optimistic
(with that same smile
they probably had when they were babies)
and know--- there is hope
deep within the hearts of some.

Two teens from my alma mater decided to go crazy and play dress up to make a point. It's a pretty obvious point but I'm happy to see people from my old High School making the news.

(From BoingBoing)

My uncle in LA received a flyer to participate in a Kymaerica event. He has no idea what the group is about and neither do I. I searched Google, Wikipedia, and Snopes and found very little.

The group's site documents plaques being placed at several "historical" sites around the country dedicated to ancient events.

You can even pay up to $81.50 for the random pictures on their website!!!

My first guess is that this is just a big joke to confuse people. My second guess is that Scientologists are now in 2nd place as the weirdest religion in America.

Does anybody know what this is all about?

Now I know why CCR didn't like Lodi. It's a terrorist breeding ground!

Meanwhile, I'm trying to stop Jace from terrorizing our electronics. Poor stereo, it doesn't understand why it is being turned on an off several times per second. It's ok, now Jace is using the XBOX remote as a phone and having a conversation.

Maintaining a blog requires discipline, having interesting things happen in your life, and most of all, remembering the url of the company hosting your blog.

Here's a quick list of things happening with us:

• Samantha, Jace, and I are going to Phoenix this weekend for my cousin Matt's outdoor wedding. Should be lots of toasty fun!

• Samantha stops working on 6/17. She'll take a few years off to take care of Jace and potentially another baby. The Chinese Reckoning Calendar says we'll have a girl if we act fast! We are having a party on 6/18 to celebrate Samantha's break from work and the fact that our back yard is complete.
  

• My company is sending me to North Carolina from 6/22 to 6/25 for an "exciting" application users group conference...
• I'm creating a homemade LCD projector. It will end up costing about $120 with a 10 foot screen and it will be High Definition (XGA).
• My company got rid of five ancient (9 year old) laptops. I'm going to use them to make digital picture frames and other goodies. More details to follow.
• The winds are picking up around here so I'm flying my kite again.

I was inspired to start my blog up again because Tonya just started her own.